Its a day full of mixed feelings. Had a session with smiley J today and was really a fruitful session. In the midst of all the confusion, lethargy, dipping motivation and confidence, this was surely something that was much needed. Its sounds ridiculous but its so true, there's nothing worthy enough to give up ED for, or maybe i just haven't found the thing yet. I have to constantly remind myself that I am fighting this battle for myself, not for anyone else. If not, its just going to continue as a losing one.
Also received a letter today informing me that i've been conferred title of college scholar for my performance in the summer 09 exams. I remember receiving a similar letter for my performance in the summer 08 exams but the reaction i had the last time and this time was totally different. This time i just read the letter, was slightly happy(or was i, actually not really), put it back in the envelope and didnt reveal any of its contents to people whom are deserving to know ie D&M. All i was thinking was how ive had to take a year out this year and how my peers are going to be ahead of me and what a failure i am. LOSER. Totally.
